This is Thursday but still this will start your day off on the right foot - Good stuff!
I was standing at the bar of the International Terminal when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer. I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Jujitsu?"
He says "No, I don't. And furthermore, why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because I'm Chinese?"
"No," I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little prick."