History of Liberals and conservatives

Here is some history that explains a lot about who we are and were we all came from. If we have relatives that are liberals, we should take a closer look at the family tree and hope we don't appear on any of the branches -

Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the plains during the summer & would go to the coast andlive on fish and lobster in winter.The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups : Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, sowhile our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as"the Conservative movement."Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing thesewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'Some noteworthy liberal ("girliemen") achievements include the invention of group therapy
and group hugs and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and
beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood, group therapists, and the French are liberals.

Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes and generally anyone who works productively outside government.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are moreenlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.