California dreamin' - Surf's up - the woody is loaded with the boards and friends - life is good and free. WOW - Living in California has always been a dream of everyone in past generations.
In songs and stories of warm weather, pretty girls in bikinis on the beach, worries go out the window. But now things are different in that once great state of California - -
So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan
jokes, somebody had to come up with this: You know you're from California if . . .
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house. The average house costs more then $400,000.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a
conversation in English. More then 40% of the stare are immigrants.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is
named Flower. Her education to become a teacher was done online.
5. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal? Who Cares!
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor and the moms don't know his name or care.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are
grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and
Ethiopian.
8. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal? It must be otherwise it wouldn't be in the middle schools.
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears. Oh, and it only costs you a bribe of $50 to keep the gangs from stripping it down before you return.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S. But not if you have a credit card from the state called ''Access Card'' or ''Partnership Card''. Better even if you can sell it for cash.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a
baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS
George Clooney. And it's good news as he can possibly be rolled before he gets to his care.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment. But that's only if you are a citizen and have a job. Other wise the car is free. Who needs insurance?
13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal? Who gives a shit! Pass the blunt!
14. It's barely sprinkling rain, and there's a report on every news
station: "STORM WATCH." And watch out for the mud slides.
15. You pass an elementary school playground, and the children are all
busy with their cell phones. It's becoming more difficult to find the best place to by a joint. The stores are everywhere, even some inside the school but they are expensive.
16. Or it's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an
hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal???? Drop dead man, and shut up! I'm trying to sleep in the stupid 6th grade class on civil obedience. yka!
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal
trainers, and cosmetic surgeons. And what so cool is thise stupid cools out there are all working to support me and my dog! Life is good, man!
19. The Terminator was your governor. A lumbering idiot.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If
you’re here illegally, they want to give you one. What a great country for illegals. And in those immortal words of Obama's buddy, Bill Ayres, ''Guilty as hell and free as a bird.''
BADA BING, BADA BOOM!
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