Science Discovers New And Heaviest Element : It Grows From Nothing!

I just love science and how precise it is when describing the workings of natural elements that exist seemingly from nothing, but then remains and grows to become a catastrophic influence in all of our lives that changes everything for the worse.

Nature has a funny of leveling the playing field, in that if you try to escape it's influence, the consequences are dire. That is, you can run but you can't hide.

Scientists at National Research Council in Ottawa have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science.

AND yes ... It was disovered in Canada, which is now the leading producer. 

 The new element is Governmentium (Gv).  It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.  These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons.  Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert.

However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact.   

 A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.  

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 - 8 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.  This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.  When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. All of the money is consumed in the exchange, and no other by-products are produced.